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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of thanksgiving text jokes and other funny jokes |
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Aviation Joke
Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: 'Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put this baby as gentle as possible down on the water'. 'Oh stewardess! Are there any sharks in the ocean below?' asks a little old lady, terrified. 'Yes, I'm afraid there are some. But not to worry, we have a special gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially for emergencies like this. Just rub the gel onto your arms and legs'. 'And if I do this, the sharks won't eat me any more?' asks the little lady. 'Oh, they will eat you all right, only they won't enjoy it so much'.
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Elderly People Joke
THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE, SOPHIA, AND HARRIET. GERTRUDE SAID, 'I THINK I'LL GO UPSTAIRS NOW AND TAKEA BATH. ' SHE TOOK ALL HER CLOTHES OFF AS AS SHE WAS FILLING UP THE TUB, SHEHAD ONE FOOT IN THE TUB AND THE OTHER STILL OUTSIDE THE TUB. SHE SAID 'WASI GOING INTO THE TUB, OR COMING OUT OF THE TUB?' SOPHIA AND HARRIET WERE DOWNSTAIRS CHATTING WITH EACH OTHER, WHEN SOPHIA SAID, 'YOU KNOW, GERTRUDE'S BEEN UP THERE FOR QUITE A WHILE, I'D BETTER GO CHECK ON HER. ' AS SHE WAS GOING UP THE STAIRS SHE STOPPED AND TURNED AROUND AND SAID, 'WASI GOING UP THE STAIRS, OR COMING DOWN THE STAIRS?' HARRIET WAS LEFT SITTING AT THE TABLE BY HERSELF. AFTER SHE HEARD SOPHIA'S REMARK SHE SAID, 'THANK GOODNESS I'M NOT THAT BAD KNOCK ON WOOD. ' 'WAS THAT THE FRONT DOOR OR THE BACK DOOR?'
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Stupid Men
Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness?
It means you're in the wrong house.
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Cow Joke
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare!
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Elderly People Joke
A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, 'You can go home now. '
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Bird Joke
What do you call the place where parrots make films? Pollywood!
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Short Stupid Joke
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?A: Because she got an F in sex.
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Worst Joke
Why are some married men like candles?Because they occasionally go out at night when they should not.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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