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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of sussex wit and other funny jokes |
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Website Joke
What sits in the middle of the world wide web ? A very, very big spider !
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Sporting Joke
What kind of crazy bird yells 'Polly wants a cracker' when he jumps from an airplane? A parrot trooper
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Burger Joke
Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens? The SALT talks!
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Bumper Stickers - 1
If you always take time to stop and smell the roses. . . sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.
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Top 100 Joke
This story occurred on Melbourne radio last week. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this:Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?Brian: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O. K. , Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex?Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning. Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian?Brian: Hmmmmm . . . . about 10 minutes. Presenter:10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it?Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that. Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian!Brian: O. K. . . . O. K. . . . On the kitchen table. Presenter:(and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O. K. for us to call your wife?Brian: Yeah, alright. Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you?Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks. Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello. Sharelle: Hi Brian. Brian: Hi Sharelle. Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali. Brian: Just tell the truth Honey. Sharelle: O. K. Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio. Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. Sharelle: O. K. . . . About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work. Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle?Sharelle: (giggling) About '12
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Kids Puns
The kings of Spain, France, and England all stand on stage together in front of their nations all ready to see who of the three has the largest penis. The king of Spain takes his out and as they all see the impressive proportions all the Spanish people shout: 'Viva Espania!'The king of France is next and as his is even larger, all the French scream: 'Vive la France!'Next comes the king of England, and just as he drops his pants and takes his out, everyone exclaims: 'God save the Queen!'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
HELP, I AM LOST AND CANNOT FIND MY BEER!
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Totally Weird Joke
You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, 'What's this?', you suddenly realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox and gave her your mail. As a woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, 'I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn!' Your boss is standing behind you. And it's his wife. While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out and you're the only coffee drinker there. You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week. You take a 'sick' day. The next morning the boss asks you, 'So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?'You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. Your underwear is missing. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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