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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of super mario fun games and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Jewish telegram: ?Begin worrying. Details to follow. ?
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Situation Joke
At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretchedout to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignifiedhandshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London wherethey boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificentwhite horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side andwaving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, allwas going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry anddignity. Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip themost horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes. Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did theirbest to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that wasa ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassingsituation. She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, 'Mr. President, please accept myregrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even aQueen cannot control. 'George W. , ever the Texas gentleman, replied, 'Your Majesty, pleasedon't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't saidsomething I would have assumed it was one of the horses. '
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Old People Joke
One day, a grandpa and his grandson go golfing. The young one is really good and the old one is just giving him tips. They are on hole 8 and there is a tree in the way and the grandpa says, 'When I was your age, I would hit the ball right over that tree. ' So, the grandson hits the ball and it bumps against the tree and lands not to far from where it started. 'Of course, ' added the grandpa, 'when I was your age, the tree was only 3 feet tall. '
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Joke Online
A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him, 'Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they least expect it. 'As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and says, 'King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I now have the plans!'
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Zoo Joke
FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla? BERT: No, what happened? FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . . BERT: What did you do? FRED: Oh, I'd had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: How many Ayatollahs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None-there weren't any light bulbs in the 13th century.
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Doctor Joke
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Bjorn.
Bjorn who?
Bjorn with a silver spoon in my mouth.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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