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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of super mario bros funny games and other funny jokes |
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Situations Humor
Barbie and G. I. Joe A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, 'What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?' The little girl replies, 'I want a Barbie and G. I. Joe. ' Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, 'I thought Barbie comes with Ken. ' 'No, ' said the little girl. 'She comes with G. I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken. '
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Computer Joke
Mother: 'How's your history paper coming?' Son: 'Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet to research my paper, and it's been very helpful. ' Mother: 'Really?' Son: 'Yes, so far I've located 17 web sites that sell them!'
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Instrument Joke
Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, 'I can do that!'Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?A: Bach in the saddle again. Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it's electrified. Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list. Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was. Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?A: Because he's Haydn!Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket?A: A Chopin Liszt. Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?A: A pair of Re-bachs. Q: What do you call a male quartet?A: Three men and a tenor.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Life is just one of those things.
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Horse Joke
You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
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Aardvark Joke
What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails? Snout about!
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Dirty Joke
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. 'What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the customers!' 'I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls. ' With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says. . . 'You idiot!' 'You're sitting on the mop bucket!
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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