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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of sunset boulevard comedy theatre and other funny jokes |
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Kids Puns
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in 'that's a shame')?A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a 'crying shame'?A: There was an empty seat. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?A: An offer you can't understand. Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?A. From chasing parked ambulances. Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?A. In the cemetery. Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?A. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?A. A vampire only sucks blood at night. Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?A: It might be your bicycle. Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?A: Because deep down, they're really good people. Q: What does a lawyer use for birth-control?A: His personality. Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?A: Stick his bill up his ass.
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Family Comedy Joke
Q. Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony? A. The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee and nine doughnuts at the same time. Q. Who is the most popular woman in a nudist colony? A. The one who can eat the last doughnut.
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Ethnic Humor
An insect falls into a mug of beer. English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out. American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks tbe beer. Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer. Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer. Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.
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Weather Joke
Fred: I'm sure I'm right. Betty: You're as right as rain - all wet!
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What's the difference between a computer and a blonde? The computer is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Computers help us to do stupid things faster.
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Zoo Joke
You don't see many reindeer in zoos, do you? No. They can't afford the admission.
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Fun Funny Joke
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. 'Sidney thought of everything, ' she told them. 'Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie, ' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'. ' 'What was in the envelopes?' her friends asked. 'The first envelope contained $'5
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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