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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of summer fun day and other funny jokes |
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Marriage Joke
Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
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Joke for Halloween
One day 3 men went to a shrine to ask the Father for forgivness. The first man went to the Father and said: ' Father, Father I have sinned!' Father: 'What have you done?' The first man:' I have lied!' Father: 'Drink the Holy water and you will be saved. ' And so the man drank the water and was 'saved'. Then the second man went up to the Father and said:' Father, Father I have sinned!' Father: 'What have you done?' The second man: ' I have stolen from the jeweler's!' Father: 'Drink the Holy water and you will be saved. ' And so the man drank the holy water and was 'saved'. The third man went up to the Father and said: ' Father, Father I have sinned!' Father: 'What have you done?' The third man: ' I peed in the Holy water!'
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Dirty Joke
Why is it called a Wonder Bra? When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.
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Humorous Joke
Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love? A: They got married in the spring.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Life's too short to dance with ugly men/women.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Out All Night Drinking An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. 'So, you've been out drinking again!!' 'How did you know?' he asks. 'The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again. '
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Top 100 Joke
Q: What do a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?A: Either way somebody loses a trailer home!You know you're a redneck if your wife wants to take a bath but you have to move the transmision from the tub first. You know you're a red neck when you go to family reunions to pick up chicks!If you've been married three times and your in-laws aint changed then you might just be a redneck. If a sign reads say no to crack and you pull up your pants then you might just be a redneck. You know you are redneck when you mow your lawn and find a car. You know you are redneck when your favorite shirt is illegal in more then 15 states. You know you are redneck when you shut your car door and your gun makes you a sun-roof. You know you are redneck when your friends go water skiing while you are towing your boat to the lake. You might be a redneck if your exhaust system incorporates more than three wire hangers and at least two juice cans. You might be a redneck if you think 'fat-free' means undoing your belt and the first 3 buttons. You know you're a redneck when you think marriage vows are what your father-in-law promised to do to you if you didn't marry his daughter. You might be a redneck if an intimate evening at home consists of sharing the remote. You might be a redneck if it's easier to rotate your home than your TV antenna. You might be a redneck if you use old newspapers in more than 3 ways in your home. You know you're a redneck if you stare at the Orange Juice container because it says 'Concentrate. ' You know you're a redneck when some one yells 'hoe down' and your wife drops to the floor!You might be a redneck if you can relate to the following statements:1) 'Nothing says lovin' like lovin your cousin!' 2) 'Why go across town when you can go across the hall?'3) 'If you can't keep it in the pants then keep it in the family. ' You know you're a redneck when your family tree is a wreath. You know your a redneck when your town priest is also your town plummer. You know you're a redneck when you're front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs. You have a home that is mobil and 14 cars that aren't. You know you're a redneck when you have seven cars in your driveway, but only one works. What was the last thing the redneck said before he died?'Hey y'all, watch this!'You know your a redneck if your Thanksgiving turkey was once a family pet!You might be a redneck if you wear cowboy boots with shorts.
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Insect Joke
What is the definition of a caterpillar ? A worm in a fur coat !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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