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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of subscribe jokes and other funny jokes |
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Music Joke
Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.
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Dumb People Joke
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, 'Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?' 'I don't know, ' responded the other. 'I'll ask him. 'So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. 'Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?' 'Intelligence, ' the boss said. 'What do you mean, ?intelligence'?'The boss said, 'Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can. ' The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, 'That's intelligence!'The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, 'What did he say?' 'He said we are down here because of intelligence. ' 'What's intelligence?' said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, 'Take your shovel and hit my hand. '
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Travel and tourist Joke
What people travel the most? Romans.
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Waiter Joke
Waiter, is there soup on the menu ? No, madam I wiped it off !
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Totally Weird Joke
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting. ' Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $'40
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Practical Joke
10. 'Erin Brockovich Gets Her Face Chewed Off by Rats' 9. 'Mary Poppins A Cap In Your Ass' 8. 'Bitch-Slapping Miss Daisy' 7. 'How Stella Got Her Groove Back 2: Whoopi Goldberg's Bikini Wax' Oh, for God's sake. I'm sorry we had to print that one. 6. 'Peyote Ugly' 5. 'Circumcision: The Purification Begins' 4. 'Thou Hast Deflowered My Daughter: An Amish Ass-kickin'' 3. 'Field of Limbs' 2. 'Terminal Velocity 2' starring Christopher Reeve 1. 'How the Grinch Stole My Urethra'
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Simple Joke
Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed? He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.
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Bar Joke - 2
A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary. On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry. When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. 'Pull down your pants, ' whispered the pastor. 'Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind, ' the groom responded. 'I think I want the traditional service. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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