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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of stupid one line jokes and other funny jokes |
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Funny Joke - 50 best Joke
What's the speed limit of sex? 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry. 'I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest', said the eldest daughter. He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry. 'I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest', said the second daughter. He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry. 'I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground', said the youngest daughter.
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Dirty Joke
Q: Why are men like laxatives? A: They irritate the shit out of you.
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Sporting Joke
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist's boat capsized. Although he could swim, his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the capsized craft. Finally spotting a beachcomber on the shore, he shouted out to him, 'Hey, are there any 'gators around here?' 'Nope,' the man yelled back. 'Ain't been any 'gators 'round these parts for years!' Feeling more at ease, the tourist commenced swimming leisurely towards shore. When he was about halfway there, he shouted out to the beachcomber again, 'How'd you get rid of the 'gators?' 'Oh, we didn't do nothin',' the beachcomber yelled back. 'The sharks got every last one of 'em!'
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Naughty Joke
If the bird of wisdom is an owl, and the bird of peace is the dove, what is the bird of TRUE love?The Swallow. Sent by Denise
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Computers Joke
Glossary Terms-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Software Engineering Glossary of Product TerminologyNEW: Different colors from previous version. ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version. UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition. ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn't understand it. NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix. BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try. DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on a shoe-string budget. UPGRADED: Did not work the first time. UPGRADED AND IMPROVED: Did not work the second time. The Dumpty Dictionary, Version 2. 0
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Redneck Joke
You might be a redneck if your house still has the 'WIDE LOAD' sign still on it.
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Doctor Joke
A Texas millionaire had fallen ill. The doctors consulted did not seem to understand what ailed him. The millionaire let it be known that any doctor who could heal him could have whatever he desired.
A country doctor was finally able to cure him, and as the doctor was leaving after a week's stay, the Texan said, 'Doc! I am a man of my word. You name it, and if it is humanly possible I'll get it for you. '
'Well,' said the doctor, 'I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of golf clubs, that would be fine. ' With that the physician left.
The doctor didn't hear from the Texan millionaire for some months. Then, one day, he got a phone call from the millionaire.
'Doc, I bet you thought that I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs. The reason it took so long is that two of them didn't have swimming pools, and I didn't think they were good enough for ya. So I had pools installed and they're all ready for you now!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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