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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of strangely strange and other funny jokes |
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Friendship Joke
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'. ' 'Yeah, ' she replies, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last. ''
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Lawyer Joke
It was so cold last week I saw a Lawyer with his hands in his own pockets !
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Blonde Joke - 1
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?
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Kids Puns
This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, 'You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop. ' So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, 'I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel. 'Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you into a sex freak?'The Pakistani man replied, 'Just try them on. ' Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years--- raw sexual power. In a blink of an eye, the husband rushed the Pakistani man, threw him on a table and started tearing at the guy's pants. All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, 'YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!'
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Strange Humor
Some quick thinking to get out of the 'caught napping jam!'. . . They told me at the blood bank that this might happen. Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout again!I wasnt sleeping! I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance. This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem!I wasnt sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without using my hands. The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane.
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Police Joke
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, 'Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France. ' The new man asked, 'What happened?' 'One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!'
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Monster Joke
Why was the big, hairy, two-headed monster top of the class at school? Because two heads are better than one.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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