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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of strange wedding venues and other funny jokes |
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Restaurant Joke
Young woman sat down in small restaurant, a waitress came over to take her order. 'I'll have a hamburger please. ' 'Burger!' she yelled over her shoulder. Then woman added. 'Make that well done. ' Waitres turned away again. 'Torture it!' she yelled.
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Telephone Joke
What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!
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Birthday Joke
Did you go shopping for my birthday present? 'Yeah, and I found the perfect thing. ' 'What thing is that?' 'Nothing!'
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Mad Joke
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. 'Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?' The blonde said 'How about 50 dollars?' The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, 'Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?' The man replied, 'She should. She was standing on the porch. ' A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. 'You're finished already?' he asked. 'Yes, ' the blonde answered, 'and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. 'And by the way, ' the blonde added, 'that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari. '
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Redneck Joke
'Come on, Steve, ' one guy said to another at the gym, 'your wife is not as bad as you say. What would you do if you found another man in bed with her?''I'd break his white cane and shoot his dog. '
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Best Joke Online
MAN: God, my girlfriend is so pretty and has such pretty hair. GOD: I know, I made her that way so you would love her. MAN: God, she has such beautiful blue eyes. GOD: I know I made them for her so you would love her. MAN: There is only one thing wrong with her. She is a little dense. GOD: I know. . I made her that way so she could love YOU!
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Funny Kids Joke
Why did the man-eating lion have indigestion?
Because it is hard to keep a good man down.
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Halloween Joke
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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