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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of strange situation procedure and other funny jokes |
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Silliest Joke
What did 1 strawberry say to another?Answer, if you weren't so fresh you wouldn't be in this jam!
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Various animal Joke
What's a pet's favorite day? . . . Saint Petrick's Day
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs? A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.
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Cat Joke
Law of Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
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Spoof Joke
'It's just to hot to wear clothes today, ' said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. 'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?''Probably that I married you for your money. '
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Sport Joke
THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU! With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks--possibly a whole year--as a result of the strike. But now you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day--that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV--you can help a basketball player remain economically viable during his time of need. Two thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, two thousand dollars is nothing more than three months rent or mortgage payments. But to a basketball player, two thousand dollars a day will almost replace his salary. Your commitment of two thousand dollars a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio. 'HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?' Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. You'll also get information on how he plans to invest the $5 million lump sum he will receive upon retirement. Plus upon signing up for this program, you will receive a photo of the player (unsigned). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering. 'HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING' Your basketball player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator just in case additional funds are needed for unexpected expenses. Simply fill out the form below. ___YES, I want to help! I would like to sponsor a striking NBA basketball player. My preference is checked below: [ ] Starter[ ] Reserve[ ] Star*[ ] Superstar**[ ] Entire team***[ ] I'll sponsor a player most in need. Please select one for me. * Higher cost** Much higher cost*** Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team (Sorry, does not include cheerleaders). Please charge the account listed below $'2
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Relationships Joke
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to thedoctor. He says, 'How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin. ' The doc said, 'I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week. ' So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided splint, held together with surgical wire. It was an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend. They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he ever saw them. She says, 'You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts. 'He pulls down his pants, whips out his splinted cock and says, 'Look at this beauty, it's still in the CRATE!'
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Face Joke
You can read his mind in his face. Yes, it's usually a complete blank.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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