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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of strange presents and other funny jokes |
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Joke Online
If you're an American when you're out of the bathroom, what are you when you're IN the bathroom?European! (You're a Peein')And if you really gotta go bad?Russian!
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What is the Cuban national anthem? ''Row Your Boat!''
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Food and Drink Joke
Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes, I have. Well, you shouldn't be so clumsy!
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Miscellaneous Joke
A white guy and a black guy died and were on their way up to Heaven and they had to stop at the Pearly Gates before they could enter. So the Angel Gabriel was there waiting for them, and he told them that they had to do something before they could go anywhere. He told the white guy to pull down his pants, so he did and Gabriel grabbed his dick and squeezed. It instantly melted. The white screamed in pain, and was sent downstairs. Gabriel told the black guy to do the same, and he grabbed his dick and squeezed but nothing happened. When Gabriel asked him why it didn't affect him, he said, 'This is the type of chocolate that melts in your mouth and not in your hands'.
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Easy to Remember Joke
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. 'Its a very handy thing' God told the couple, 'and I was wondering if either one of you wanted that abilty. ' Adam jumped up and blurted 'Oh, give that to me! Id love to be able to do that. It seems the sort of thing a man would do. Please give me that ability. Itd be so great. When Im working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let fly. Itd be sooo cool. I could write my name in the sand. Please, God, let it be me you give the gift to, let me stand to pee, oh please. ' Eve just smiled and said that if Adam really wanted that so bad that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make Adam really happy, and she didnt mind if Adam were the one to get this ability. Adam was happy, and proceeded to wash down the bark of the nearest tree, laughing with glee all the while. 'Fine', God said, looking back into his bag of leftovers. 'Whats left here?' 'Oh, yes. Multiple orgasms. '
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Ethnic Joke - 1
How do you know Monica Lewinsky is Jewish?If she wasn't, she wouldn't have stained her dress.
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Sport Joke
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?They might be cheetahs! Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder playerFan: Why's that?Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him! Why do artists never when they play football?They keep drawing! Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?So that they can pack the defence! Where do old bowling balls end up?In the gutter! Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet?Player: I finished it in three days! What part of a football pitch smells nicest?The scenter spot!
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School Joke for Kids
'Salary Theorem' states that 'Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People. ' This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: 1. Knowledge is Power. 2. Time is Money. As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time Since: Knowledge = Power Time = Money It follows that: Knowledge = Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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