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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of strange fate and other funny jokes |
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Animal World
Why do gorillas have big noses? Because they have big fingers.
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Funny School Kids Joke
'Doctor, doctor, my husband smells like a fish. '
'Poor sole. '
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Kids Puns
Through infinite myst, software reverberatesIn code possess'd of invisible folly. Wilt thou dare interfaceWith thy Apple Macintosh keypadBy toggling my tweaky bosom?Alack!Leave laserjet laughter to the laptop lover. Behold beta beauty in a keyboard's keen kindness. Now yet torment thy melancholy hardwareBy always vexing the amorous flameOf thine model motherboard. This tyrant widget conceals scuzzy gamesAnd pleasure treasured dear:Then kiss me. Celestial evil's idolatrous template within AOLWill deceive some cybersex usersAnd email 'cancel our service. 'Tis a rare tongueThat many maiden bugs command, Revealing bounteous distress, Trashing bold memory:Click and crash gloriously. Weep not, beauteous Microsoft!Hereafter reboot.
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Medical Joke
A young lady walks into a doctors office. 'Doctor I'm suffering from a terrible discharge' The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says 'how does that feel?' Young lady, 'Oooh doctor that feels lovely. . . . . . . . but the discharge is from my ear!!'
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Marriage Joke
Hey, you just shot my wife. I'm so sorry, have a shot at mine !
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Travel Joke
1. The 'complimentary' paper tells you that President Kennedy has died. 2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it. 3. The 'magic fingers vibration' is supplied by giving a quarter to the town epileptic. 4. There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow 5. The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes. 6. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it. 7. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers. 8. The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you. 9. The Only TV station you can get is a porno channel with roseanne on it. 10. The wake up call comes courtesy of police helicopter
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Irish Joke
'And how's yer wife, Pat?' 'Sure, she do be awful sick. ' 'Is ut dangerous she is?' 'No, she's too weak t' be dangerous anymore!'
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Math Joke
A mathematician is flying non-stop from Edmonton to Frankfurt with AirTransat. The scheduled flying time is nine hours.
Some time after taking off, the pilot announces that one engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: 'Don't worry - we're safe. The only noticeable effect this will have for us is that our total flying time will be ten hours instead of nine. '
A few hours into the flight, the pilot informs the passengers that another engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: 'But don't worry - we're still safe. Only our flying time will go up to twelve hours. '
Some time later, a third engine fails and has to be turned off. But the pilot reassures the passengers: 'Don't worry - even with one engine, we're still perfectly safe. It just means that it will take sixteen hours total for this plane to arrive in Frankfurt. '
The mathematician remarks to his fellow passengers: 'If the last engine breaks down, too, then we'll be in the air for twenty-four hours altogether!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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