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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of strange diets and other funny jokes |
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Dirty Joke
Q . what did the sign on the whore house say?A: Beat it we are closed
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Kids Joke
Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?A: When you see teeth marks.
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Bumper Stickers - 4
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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Stupid Blonde Joke
A young blonde girl goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says, 'Big breaths. . . ' The girl replies, 'Yeth and I'm not even thixteen. '
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Village Idiot Joke
It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. 'Hold on there, partner, ' said the snake, 'don't shoot- I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want. ' The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the snake's striking range. He said, 'OK, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding. ' The rattlesnake said, 'All right, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes. ' The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable. He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted, 'Oh no! I was riding the mare!'
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Relationships Joke
Barry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, 'My mother told me to say no to everything. ''Well, ' Barry said, 'do you mind if I put my arm around you?''No, ' the girl replied. 'Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?''N-n-no, ' the girl replied. 'You know, ' Barry said, 'We're going to have a lotta fun if you're on thelevel about this. '
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Insect Joke
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk ? A centipede with a wooden leg !
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Answer me this Joke
Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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