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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of stand up comedy tickets and other funny jokes |
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Silliest Joke
Limmerick of the Day:There once was a girl from Wenatch, She tried to get it on with a match, She got so excited, The damn thing ignited, And burned all the hair off her snatch!
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Car and train Joke
A San Francisco motorist following a taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him when it stopped suddenly. 'Why didn't you let me know you were going to stop?' he yelled into the mist. 'Why should I?' came a voice out of the fog. 'I'm in my own garage!'
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Mad Joke
The crofter's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said: 'Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing. 'Soon, a lusty baby boy was brought into the world. 'Och!' said the doctor. 'Don't be in a rush to put the lantern by. . . I think there's yet another wee bairn to come. 'Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass. 'Na, dinna be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad. . . It seems there's yet another one besides!' cried the doctor. The crofter scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor: 'Well, now, mon. Do ye suppose the light's attracting them?'
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Bible Joke
The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional. She says, 'Father, I never wears panties under my habit. 'The priest chuckles and says, 'That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar.
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Spoof Joke
James and his wife, Martha, are getting ready to leave home for a vacation. Martha started out the door, then stopped, turned around, and said, 'James, this time you should go check to see if the coffee pot is off, television plugs are pulled, lamp timers are set, thermostat is adjusted, windows are closed and locked, burglar alarm is on, doors are locked, and I'll go wait in the car and keep blowing the horn. '
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
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Humor Joke
So the bus driver said to the string, 'Are you a string?' and the string said, 'No, I'm afraid not'. (A frayed knot).
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Beggar ! Beggar who ? Beggar you don't know !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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