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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of stand up comedy classes and other funny jokes |
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Funny Joke
You're so poor that when I went to your house I stepped on a match and your mom said, 'Oh! who turned off the fireplace'!!!
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Medical Joke
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, andrepeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'llhave lost at least 5 pounds. 'When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly20 pounds. 'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow myinstructions?' The woman nodded. 'I'll tell you though, I thought I was going todrop dead that third day. ''From hunger, you mean?''No, from skipping. '
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Monster Joke
Did you hear about the monster with one eye at the back of his head, and one at the front? He was terribly moody because he couldn't see eye to eye with himself.
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Short Stupid Joke
Very Short Lists:1) List of Golf Courses that do not allow Doctors2) List of all night Gay women's bars in Iran3) List of DR's who do gratis Brain Surgery4) List of Hospitals with Drive-Thru window Service5) List of Home cures for Ebola Virus6) List of Homeless Boston Debutantes7) List of Catholic Abortion referral services8) List of Women Rabbi's and assistant's9) List of Women Popes, Cardinals & Bishops10) List of Men's Rape assistant groups11) List of Battered Men's Help Groups12) List of Cuban registered voters13) List of Libyan registered women voters14) List of Libyan Licensed women truck drivers15) List of Libyan women lawyers16) List of Libyan women with PHD's17) List of Libyan Women Service Clubs18) List of interstate Highways with no Numbers19) List of U. S. Cops who have never eaten a doughnut20) List of People who have survived going over Niagara Falls21) List of People who have been in a UFO and are not crazy22) List of People who can whistle while drinking beer23) List of Pregnant Men24) List of Men who wash dishes, do the laundry & iron at the same time25) List of Women who drink 24 beer while watching 3 football games26) List of Women who can out shoot, & skate Wayne Gregskey27) List of Licensed flyable Airplanes with no wings28) List of Blind Licensed Drivers in Calif. 29) List of Midgets over 6 foot tall30) List of living trees made of plastic
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Job and Office Joke
How careers end. . . Lawyers are disbarred. Ministers are defrocked. Electricians are delighted. Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented. Drunks are distilled. Alpine climbers are dismounted. Piano tuners are unstrung. Orchestra leaders are disbanded. Artists' models are deposed. Cooks are deranged. Dressmakers are unbiased. Nudists are redressed. Office clerks are defiled. Mediums are dispirited. Programmers are decoded. Accountants are discredited. Holy people are disgraced. Pastry chefs are deserted. Perfume makers are dissented. Butterfly collectors are debugged. Students are degraded. Electricians are refused. Bodybuilders are rebuffed. Underwear models are debriefed Painters are discolored. Spinsters are dismissed. Judges are disappointed. Vegas dealers are discarded. Mathematicians are discounted. Tree surgeons disembark.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. 'Yes Dad, what is it?''Don't be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn'tgo well, if something happens to me . . . your mother is going to comeand live with you and your wife. . . . '
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Bird Joke
Why did the chicken cross the 'net' ? It wanted to get to the other site !
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Medical Joke
Mr. Horntoot admitted to his wife that he was feeling muchbetter since his operation, but couldn't account for theenormous bump on the back of his head. 'Oh, that, ' chuckled Mrs. Horntoot. 'Just before youroperation they suddenly ran out of ether!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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