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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of stand comedy edinburgh and other funny jokes |
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Food Joke
What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
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Law Enforcement Joke
One evening this Columbia Yuppie was stopped for allegedly drunken driving and was given a breath test by the Howard County Police. 'Well ?' he asked somewhat belligerently as the Desk Sergeant slowly read the print out and entered the information in the arrest record. 'Disappointing to say the least, ' the Sergeant replied. 'Chateau Duvalier. . . 1962. . . rather thin. . . not aged well at all. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Clay ! Clay who ? Clay on, Sam !
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At Work Joke
A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potentialemployee's application and notices that the man has neverworked in retail before. He says to the man, 'For a man with no experience, you arecertainly asking for a high wage. ''Well Sir, ' the applicant replies, 'the work is so much harderwhen you don't know what you'redoing!'
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Dog Joke - 1
What did the dog take when he was run down? The license number of the car that hit him.
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Fun Funny Joke
Holiday Banana Bread:Ingredients: 2 laughing eyes, 2 loving arms, 2 well shaped legs, 2 firm milk containers, 1 fur-lined mixing bowl, 1 large bananaInstructions: 1 - look into laughing eyes and hold loving arms. 2 - Spread well shaped legs slowly. 3 - Squeeze & massage milk containers until the fur-lined mixing bowl is well greased, check with middle finger. 4 - Add banana, work up and down until well creamed. 5 - Lower nuts and sigh with relief, when banana is soft, bread is done!6 - Be sure to wash mixing utensils, but 'do not lick the bowl. ' NOTE: If bread rises, leave town.
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Ant Joke
What do you call a smart ant ? Elegant !
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Clinton Joke
Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, 'Are you ready to order?' Clinton replies, 'Yes, I'd like a quickie. ' 'A quickie?!?' the waitress replies. 'Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu. ' She walks away. Gore leans over to Clinton and says, 'It's pronounced Quiche. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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