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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of southsea fun fair and other funny jokes |
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Mad Joke
Clinton doesn't inhale, he sucks USE CAUTION! 90% of people are made by accident. It's a dog eat dog world. . . and I'm wearing milkbone underwear!!! I break for hallucinations My Lawyer Can Beat Your Lawyer Blondes Are Not Dumb (the bumper sticker was upside-down) DADDY FARTED AND WE CAN'T GET OUT!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING, STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK!!! Nuck Fewt ORGASM DONOR My child made Student of the Month at Juvenile Hall No radio. Already stolen. Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister. So many pedestrians, so little time. My other wife is beautiful. I need someone really bad. Are you really bad? Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle. There is one in every crowd and they always find me. I love animals - They taste great! I'd rather step in shit than smoke it. Unless you are a hemorrhoid - get off my ass! On the back of a caterer's truck: 'Nobody beats our meat!'
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Situation Joke
On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, 'I had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick. 'The guy on the left says, 'I also had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick. ''The guy in the middle says, 'I had a dream that I went skiing. '
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A bird dropped a snake over a California power station, short-circuiting a line and causing a two-hour blackout. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------A Creighton University (Nebraska) Law School senior, told she wouldn't graduate because of a failing grade on a final exam, sued her professor, claiming he flunked her because she is 'politically incorrect. '--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Biloxi, Mississippi, jurors acquitted a woman of drug charges, then passed the hat to collect $55 to pay her bus fare home to Texas. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------A man allegedly held up 18 New York businesses after casing the places while filling out job or rental applications. The spree ended after he accidentally signed his real name on one of the forms, police said. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Harlan County, Nebraska, Assessor Floyd Schippert was unopposed in the Democratic primary, and just to be sure, he entered -- and won -- the Republican primary also. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Willie Turner wasn't running for the Dendron, Virginia, Town Council. He didn't even vote. But he won with five write-in votes. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------A Hollywood, California man is accused of renting cars, selling them, then stealing them back for return to the rental companies. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Corpus Christi, Texas, police said it was a hit-and-gallop accident: A man crashed his truck into the back of a car, then fled on the horse he was pulling in the trailer.
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Dirty Joke
Q: How do you know a blonde likes you? A: She screws you two nights in a row.
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Insect Joke
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ? Enough drumsticks to feed an army !
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Computer Joke
Redmond, WA --Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system 'Windows 2000' will be delayed until the second quarter of 1901.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Simplify
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Joke for Kids
A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with her vibrator. 'What are you doing?', asked the Mom. 'Mom I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married so this is pretty much my husband. 'The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head. The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator. 'What the hell are you doing?', he asked. His daughter replied, 'I already told Mom. I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband. 'The father walked out of the room shaking his head too. The next day the Mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand, and the vibrator in the other hand, watching the football game. 'For Christ's sake, what are you doing?' she cried. The husband replied, 'What does it look like I'm doing?I'm having a beer and watching the game with my new son-in-law!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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