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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of some really funny videos and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 1
How do you kill a blonde? Give them a gun an say it is a blow dryer
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Beauty Joke
She's the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they can't believe it the first time.
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Joke for Kids
1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands. 2. Can I borrow a quarter? ['What for?'] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her. 3. Is your daddy a thief? ['No. '] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say 'yes. ']4. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear. 5. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway. 7. The word of the day is 'legs. ' Let's go back to my place and spread the word. 8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning. 10. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream. 11. My name's [your name], but you can call me 'lover. '12. Nice shoes. Wanna sleep together?13. Can I flirt with you?14. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns. 15. [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, 'What are you doing?':] Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR: Checking to see if you're the right size. 16. All those curves, and me with no brakes. 17. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?18. Screw me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?19. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine. 20. [Grab his/her tush. ] Pardon me, is this seat taken?21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?22. Can I have directions? ['To where?'] To your heart. [Cheese alert!]23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. 24. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?25. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me. 26. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?27. So. . . How am I doin'?28. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?29. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg. 30. Say, that's a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I talk you out of it?31. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?32. I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away. 33. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?34. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Just plead the Fifth -- or drink it -- either way.
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Funny Kids Joke
What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?Chimney Cricket!
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Dirty Joke
Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
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Old age Joke
A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, 'You can go home now. '
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Food and Drink Joke
Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes, very much. Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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