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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of slots for fun and other funny jokes |
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Naughty Joke
It has been studied and determined that the most often usedSexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. . . And the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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Animal Joke
A man was driving down a country road one day at 45 miles per hour when suddenly he noticed a 3-legged chicken running at the same speed beside his truck. Though he thought this odd, the man decided to speed up so he wouldn't cause an accident with the chicken. The man sped up to 55 miles per hour, but low and behold, so did the 3-legged chicken. The man then sped up to 65 miles per hour only to again be equaled in speed by the 3-legged chicken. As the man watched in amazement, the chicken suddenly made a sharp left turn and took off down a side road toward a small farm. The man quickly also made the left turn and followed the chicken to the small farm, parking out front. Looking around the man found the farmer around back in the midst of many 3-legged chickens. After greeting the farmer, the man asked him why he was raising 3-legged chickens. 'Well we figure, ' said the farmer, 'that with an average family of 3 people, only 2 can have a chicken leg with an average chicken. But with a three legged chicken, each member of the family can enjoy a chicken leg of their own. ' 'That's pretty wise, ' said the man, who then asked 'Well how do your 3-legged chickens taste?''I don't know, ' said the farmer. 'We've never been able to catch one. '
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Joke for Speeches
TEACHER: Jack, how old are you on your last birthday?JACK: 7 years oldTEACHER: How old are you going to be on your next birthday?JACK: 9 years oldTEACHER: That's impossible!JACK: No it's not. I'm 8 today. TEACHER: Mike, go to the map and show me where America is. MIKE: Here it is !TEACHER: Good. Now class, who discovered America?CLASS: Mike !!!TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?STUDENT: Yes sir. TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you when you misbehave?STUDENT: Yes sir. But since I didn't keep my promise, you don't need to keep yours. COOL STUDENT: Teacher would you punish me for something I didn't do?TEACHER: No. COOL STUDENT: Good 'cos I didn't do my homework. TEACHER: Alfred, name one important thing that we have today and we don't 10 years ago. ALFRED: Me !!!TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?BILLY: No. I'm Billy Anderson. TEACHER: In this box I have a 10-foot snake. STUDENT: You can't fool me teacher ! Snakes don't have feet !!!HYGIENE TEACHER: How do you prevent deseases from biting insects?WILLY: Don't bite any. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence using the word 'I'ELLEN: I is. . . . TEACHER: No Ellen always use 'I am'. ELLEN: Oh, alright. 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. '
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Weirdest Joke
When I take a long timeI am slowWhen my boss takes a long timeHe is thorough----------------------------------When I don't do itI am lazyWhen my boss doesn't do itHe is too busy----------------------------------When I do something without being toldI am trying to be smartWhen my boss does the sameThat is initiative----------------------------------When I please my bossI'm ass-kissingWhen my boss pleases his bossHe's co-operating----------------------------------When I do goodMy boss never remembersWhen I do wrongHe never forgets----------------------------------
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Sporting Joke
The Wednesday night church service happened to fall on the last day of hunting season. When the pastor asked his congregation if anyone had bagged a deer this year, no one raised their hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, 'I don't understand. Many of the wives stated that their husbands were missing last Sunday because of hunting season. To help in your hunting quest, I asked the congregation to pray for your deer. ' 'It sure worked,' groaned one hunter, 'they're all safe!'
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Bite Me!
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Dog Joke - 2
When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs?
Only when they snap at something!
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Naughty Joke
How can a man tell when his sperm count is elevated?His girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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