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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of skoda felicia fun and other funny jokes |
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Practical Joke
Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve10. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions. 9. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote. 8. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would, therefore, need Eve to go get one for him. 7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself. 6. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb. 5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing. 4. As 'Keeper of the Garden, ' Adam would never remember where he left his tools. 3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden. 2. As the Bible says, 'It is not good for man to be alone!'And finally, the number ONE reason that God created Eve. . . 1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head, and said, 'I can do better than THAT!'
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Naughty Joke
One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said 'you don't have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too old and you don't have to worry about catching anything because you are going to die pretty soon anyway'. The old man continued to put on his condom he then looked up at the girl and said, 'young girl the reason I am putting on this condom isn't because I am afraid of getting you pregnant or catching anything. I just like the scent of burning rubber. '
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. GET OUT YOUR 'PORTABLE HAND-HELD COMMUNICATIONS INSCRIBERS'WASHINGTON - When is a pencil not a pencil? When it's on a Pentagon shopping list - then it's a 'portable hand-held communications inscriber, ' says a Republican senator.
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Joke for Kids
Insensitive Term---Preferred Term: ETHNICITYPC people do not recognize the term, 'race, ' as validBlack- African-Canadian, (NOTE: DOES NOT INCLUDE: LIBYANS, EGYPTIANS, WHITE South AFRICANS. DOES INCLUDE: PEOPLE WITH DARK SKIN REGARDLESS OF WHERE THEY ARE FROM OR WHERE THEY LIVE. )Oriental- Asian-Canadian (Note: Not Considered 'REAL' Minorities since they tend to do well)Indian- Native-Canadian (NOTE: The following terms are no PC: Atlanta Braves, Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Chiefs, Washington Redskins, (Avoid these cities!)Chicano -Hispanic (NOTE: THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT PC: Cheech and Chong, Chico and the Man episodes, Cisco Kid, Rosarita Salsa, Speedy Gonzales, AVOID! AVOID!)White Trash-PC Unaware, Rustically InclinedWASP (white male)-insensitive Cultural Oppressor (ICO)GENDER-(PC people don't like the word 'sex' as it has confusing connotations) Woman- Womyn; Vaginal-CanadianGirl-Pre-WomynHousewife-Domestic EngineerFireman-FirefighterStewardess-Flight AttendantMeter Maid-Parking Enforcement AdjudicatorPost Man-Post Person Mail Man Person PersonPoliceman-Law Enforcement Officer; Baton Boy Cal. ClubberProstitute-Sex Surrogate (Teen Victim. See: Broken Home)Mankind/Human-Earth ChildrenHandicapped-Physically Challenged Differently Abled Handi-CapableBlind-Optically Darker Photonically Non-receptiveDeaf-Visually OrientedPoor-Economically UnpreparedBum-Homeless Person Displaced Homeowner Hunter-Animal Assassin Meat Mercenary Bambi ButcherWhaler-Blubber LoversOld Person /Elderly-4th-Dimentionally Extended Gerontologically AdvancedConservative-Right Wing Extremist Fascist PigDrug Addict-Chemically ChallengedBald-Comb-FreeBisexual-Sexually Non-preferentialMidget, Dwarf-Little People, Vertically ChallengedConvict-Socially SeparatedInsane People-Selectively Perceptive Mental ExplorersLearning Disability-Self-Paced Cognitive AbilityTree-Hugger-Environmental ActivistLogger-Wood Weasel, Paper Pirate, TreeslayerDead People-Dysfunctional Earth Children Biologically Challenged Metaphysically Challenged Broken Home-Dysfunctional FamilyHouseBroken-Family DysfunctionCattle Ranch-Cattle Concentration Camp (CCC) 'Moo-shwitz'Senile Bag o'Bones-Alzheimer's VictimGhetto/Barrio-(EHA) Ethnically Homogenous AreaPre-Integrated Pre-NirvanaHamburger-Seared Mutilated Animal Flesh (SMAF)Cheeseburger-Adding Insult to InjuryCheating (in School)-Academic DishonestyUsed Books-Recycled BooksTrees-Oxygen Exchange UnitsGang-Youth GroupSlum-(EOZ) Economic Oppression ZoneObese- People of Mass Gravitationally ChallengedDelicatessen- Corpse Farm Charnel House
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Math Joke
The math professor just accepted a new position at a university in another city and has to move. He and his wife pack all their belongings into cardboard boxes and have them shipped off to their new home. To sort out some family matters, the wife stays behind for a few more days while her husband has already left for their new residence.
The boxes arrive when the wife still hasn't rejoined her husband. When they talk on the phone in the evening, she asks him to count the boxes, just to make sure the movers didn't loose any of them.
'Thirty nine boxes altogether', says the prof on the phone.
'That can't be', the wife exclaims. 'The movers picked up forty boxes at our old place. '
The prof counts once again, but again his count only reaches 39.
The next morning, the wife calls the moving company and complains. The company promises to check; a few hours later, someone calls back and reports that all forty boxes did arrive.
In the evening, when the prof and his wife are on the phone again, she asks: 'I don't understand it. When you count, you get 39, and when they do, they get 40. That's more than strange. . . '
'Well', the prof says. 'This is a cordless phone, so you can stay on the line and count with me: zero, one, two, three,. . . '
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Pig Joke
SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three candles for your party? PIGLET: I'd rather have three cakes and one candle.
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Car and train Joke
Policeman: How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets? Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.
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Easter Joke
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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