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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of sjofle jokes and other funny jokes |
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Clinton Joke
Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To meet the chick.
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Music Joke
Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato? A: Write a whole note with 'solo' above it.
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Mental health Joke
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, 'Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers. '
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Children Joke
A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. 'Don't be angry, ' the Mother says, 'Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts. 'A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says. . . 'Now she knows. '
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Doctor Joke
Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show?Doctor: Absolutely nothing!
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Book title Joke
The Strongman by Everhard Muscles
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School Joke
TEACHER: why are you late for school again?
PUPIL: I stopped two boys fighting, sir.
TEACHER: Well done. How did you manage that?
PUPIL: I kicked both of them, sir.
TEACHER: Sadie, why are you crawling into school ten minutes late?
PUPIL: Because you told me never to walk into school late again.
You missed school yesterday, didn't you?
No, sir, not a bit.
When the teacher entered the classroom, he noticed a little pool of water near the blackboard.
`Who is responsible for this?' he asked. No one replied.
`I want the person who did this to own up,' said the teacher. `Everyone close your eyes, then the guilty person must come forward and write their name on the blackboard. No one must open their eyes until I say so. '
So everyone closed their eyes. Soon there were quiet footsteps over to the blackboard, a pause and then the sound of someone writing on it with chalk, followed by more footsteps.
When the teacher told everyone to open their eyes there was a loud gasp. Another little puddle of water had appeared next to the first, and on the blackboard was written, `The Phantom Piddler Strikes Again!'
TEACHER: Now, children, this afternoon I'm going to tell you all about a gorilla.
So pay attention, all of you: If, you don't look at me you'll never know what a gorilla is.
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War Joke
During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddyback road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel. 'Your jeep stuck, sir?' askedthe lieutenant as he pulled alongside. 'Nope, ' replied the colonel, coming over and handing him thekeys, '*Yours* is. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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