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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly wigs and other funny jokes |
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Practical Joke
TOP TEN things women would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day:10. Get ahead faster in corporate America. 9. Get a blow job. 8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat. 7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal. 6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently. 5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm. 4. Touch/shift yourself in public without thought to how improper it may seem. 3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks. 2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement. 1. And, the NUMBER ONE thing women would do if they woke up with a penis. . . REPEAT NUMBER 'NINE'.
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Mad Joke
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. 'Would you mind telling me, Doctor, ' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?''That's easy, ' he replied. 'You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track. ''What sort of question would you ask Doctor?''Well, you might ask them. . . ''Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh -'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?''I must confess I don't know much about history. '(DOH!)
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Mad Joke
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T. V. please. The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes. So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black. The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T. V. please. The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes. The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde? The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T. V.
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Idiot and fool Joke
Did you hear about the idiot who invented the one-piece jigsaw puzzle?
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Best Joke Online
You have just received the 'POLISH VIRUS!'As we don't have any programming experience, this Virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files on your hard drive manually and forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thanks for your cooperation.
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Dirty Joke
This old lady was complaining to her friend about a little problem she had with vaginal itch. Her friend suggested that maybe she had an STD. The old lady replied 'That's impossible because I am a virgin'. To solve the problem the old lady went to the doctor for check up. After the exam the doctor said: ' I have good news and bad news, the good news is that you are clean of all STD'S. The bad news is that you have fruit flies because your cherry is rotten'
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Relationships Joke
A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On theirwedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her newgroom, 'Please be gentle. . . I am still a virgin. ' The startled groom says 'How canthat be? You've been married twice. . . 'The bride responds. . . 'Well you see it was this way: My first husband, he was apsychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about sex. Catching her breath, she says 'My second husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to dowas. . . . . . . . . . . . . Oh God, I miss him!'
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Easy to Remember Joke
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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