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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly valentines gifts and other funny jokes |
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Clinton Joke
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a 'tragedy'. One little boy stands up and offers 'If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy. ' 'No, ' Clinton says, 'That would be an ACCIDENT. ' A girl raises her hand. 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved. . . that would be a tragedy. ' 'I'm afraid not, ' explains Clinton. 'That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS. ' The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. 'What?' asks Clinton, 'Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: 'If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, T HAT would be tragedy. ' 'Wonderful!' Clinton beams. 'Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?' 'Well, ' says the boy, 'because it couldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!'
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Priceless Joke
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar:------------------------------------- Cheese Sandwich: $1. 50 Chicken Sandwich: $2. 50 Hand Job: $10. 00 -------------------------------------Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to thebar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondesserving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. 'Yes?' she inquires with a knowing smile, 'can I help you?''I was wondering', whispers the man, 'are you the one who gives the hand jobs?''Yes, ' she purrs, 'I am. 'The man replies 'Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!'
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Bumper Stickers - 7
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
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Random Joke
When you're having a bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, just remember: it takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.
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Marriage Joke
A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell. 'Marry him anyway, dear. ' the Mother said. 'Between the two of us, we'll show him just how *wrong* he is. '
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Movie and TV Joke
Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows? Because at last he was in the noose.
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Dead and dying Joke
Waiter, waiter! There's a dead fly in my soup. Oh no! Who's going to look after his family?
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Waiter Joke
Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: So laugh, sir.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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