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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly toys and other funny jokes |
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Yo momma Joke
yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.
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Sports Joke
The golf club secretary was very apologetic, 'I'm terribly sorry sir, but we have no time open on the course today. ' 'Wait just a minute,' the member argued, 'If I told you that Prince Andrew and a friend wanted a game, would you find a starting time for them?' 'Most definitely,' she answered. 'Well, since I happen to know that the Prince is in Scotland at the moment, we'll just take his time,' said the member.
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Book title Joke
A Call for Assistance by Linda Hand
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Doctor Joke
A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, 'You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35-year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?'
The 60-year-old responded, 'Did I say he was dead?'
The doctor was surprised and asked, 'How old is he and is he very active?'
The 60-year-old responded, 'Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer. '
The doctor couldn't believe it. So, he asked, 'Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?'
The 60-year-old responded again, 'Did I say he was dead?'
The doctor was astonished. He said, 'You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?'
The 60-year-old said, 'He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that,' said the patient, 'my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again. '
The doctor said, 'At 106-years, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?'
His patient looked up at the doctor and said, 'Did I say he wanted to?'
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Mental health Joke
Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I say. Tell me the truth now, what's your REAL problem?
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Bumper Stickers - 1
If you can read this sticker, I can slam on my brakes and claim damages from you
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School Joke
Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
'Wait a minute,' she said. 'I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!'
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Dirty Joke
Once upon a time, a guy was sitting at a bar. He was throwing money around, giving the barman hundred dollar tips and buying drinks for everyone. He was surrounded by a crowd of adoring women. The barman liked the tips, but he was kind of curious about a little man that would jump from the rich guy's pocket. The little man would run up and down the bar, kicking over the bowls of peanuts and giving people the finger. Then the little guy would jump back into the man's jacket for a while. The barman went over and asked the guy what was up. So the rich guy says, 'Well, let me tell you a little story. I was walking along a beach one day, and I come across this lamp. I rub it, and a genie popped out. I got three wishes, so my first wish was to be fabulously wealthy. Then I wished for a harem. You can see I got both. ' The barman asks, 'So what about that little guy in your jacket?' 'Oh, tha t, ' mumbles the rich guy. 'That's the twelve-inch prick I wished for. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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