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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly sunglasses and other funny jokes |
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Festival Joke
10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 6. People say, 'What a scary mask!' but you're not wearing a mask! 5. When the door opens you yell, 'Trick or. . . ' and can't remember the rest. 4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders. 3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece. 2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. and last but not least. . . 1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live. Happy Halloween!
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Law Enforcement Joke
A tourist asks a man in uniform, 'Are you a policeman?''No, I am an undercover detective. ''So why are you in uniform?''Today is my day off. '
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Bible Joke
A crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her. Jesus stepped in front of her and said: 'Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone. 'From the back of the crowd came this stone which hit Jesus on the head and knocked him down. Jesus turned and looked in that direction and said: 'You know mom, sometimes you really piss me off. '
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Aviation Joke
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. 'Throw out more!' shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. 'More!' he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control. He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road Who's crying. They ask him why he's crying and he says 'A pistol hit me on the head!' They drive more and meet another boy Who's crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, 'A rifle hit me on the head!' They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk Who's laughing hysterically. They ask h im, 'Kid, what's so funny?' The boy replies, 'I sneezed and a house blew up!'
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Cannibal Joke
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of peoples heads? Because they're headcases !
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Bumper Stickers - 7
The More You Complain, The Longer God Makes You Live.
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Dog Joke - 1
How do you say 'Chihuahua' in Spanish?
Chihuahua!
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Joke for Speeches
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, 'I've found a man just like father!' Her mother replied, 'So what do you want from me, sympathy?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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