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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly party games and other funny jokes |
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Book title Joke
Dont' Wake the Baby by Elsie Cries
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Horse Joke
A Preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told there were fortunes in race horses, he decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey came in third. The next day the racing sheets carried the headlines, 'Preacher's Ass shows' The Preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the races again and this time he won! The papers said, 'Preacher's Ass out in Front' The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The newspaper printed this headline, 'Bishop Scratches Preacher's Ass' This was just too much for the Bishop and he ordered the Preacher to get rid of the animal. The Preacher decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The headlines the next day read, 'Nun has the Best Ass in Town' The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey and she finally found a farmer who was willing to buy it for $10. 00. The paper states, 'Nun Peddles Ass for Ten Bucks' They buried the Bishop the next day.
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Situations Humor
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As hesat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. Anearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a cleanspoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, andasked, 'Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?'The waiter replied, 'Yes. We had an efficiency expert here thatdetermined that 17. 8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen. 'The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, 'Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a stringhanging from your fly?' The waiter replied, 'Yes, we all do. Thatsame efficiency expert determined that we spend 21. 4% of our timewashing our hands after using the men's room. The other end of thatstring is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull thestring to get my tool out of my pants, go, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time. ''Wait a minute, ' said the diner, 'how do you get your penis backin your pants?' 'Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I usethe spoon. '
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: What's the difference between American and Serbian pilots?A: American pilots break ground and fly into the wind!
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Naughty Joke
This girl I know told me she was so horny her own tongue's starting to feel good in her mouth.
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Yo momma Joke
Yo Mama so fat, she's gotta wake up in sections
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American Joke
How many Americans does it take to catch and prosecute child-abusing polygamists?
Answer: No one knows: it's never been tried.
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Dirty Joke
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*! Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver - by this time scared out of his wits - yells, 'Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?' The other guy yells back, 'Hell no! Do you know anything about lighting gas stoves?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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