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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly hats and other funny jokes |
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College Humor
It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. 'Only twenty years of normal sex life?' but the Lord was very adamant that was all man could have. Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. 'But I don't need twenty years', he protested, 'Ten is plenty for me. ' Man spoke up eagerly. 'Can I have the other ten?' The monkey graciously agreed. Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, 'Can I have the other ten?' The lion said of course he could. Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years - but like the others, ten was sufficient - and again man pleaded, 'Can I have the other ten?' This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an ass of himself.
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. 'Darling, it was just a shark, ' said his wife when he came to. 'You've got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere. '
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Joke for Halloween
A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase ManhattanBank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young manat the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in thebag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though, she wished to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to theamount of money involved. The teller seemed to think that was a reasonable request and afteropening the paper bag and seeing the bundles of '1
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Sporting Joke
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, 'What is your IQ?' to which the man answers '241. ' 'That is wonderful!,' says Albert. 'We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!' Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, 'What is your IQ?' To which the lady answers, '144. ' 'That is great!,' responds Albert. 'We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!' Albert goes to another person and asks, 'What is your IQ?' to which the man answers, '51. ' Albert responds, 'How 'bout them Cowboys?'
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Weather Joke
Q. What's the difference between 'weather' and 'climate'? A. You can 't 'weather' a tree, but you can 'climate'!
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Legal Humor
Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Elephant Joke
What is the easy way to get a wild elephant ? Get a tame one and annoy it !
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Great Joke
A hippy with no job kept begging his girlfriend to marry him. She protested for months saying he needed a job first. He always told her, 'We can just live on love. 'Finally, she relented and they got married. The morning after their honeymoon, she got up and sat on the heater. The hippy asked, 'What are you doing?'She replied, 'Heating your breakfast. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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