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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly glasses and other funny jokes |
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Money Joke
What did the man do when he got a big gas bill? He exploded.
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Children Joke
Ben's dad was building a pine bookshelf and Ben was watching and occasionally helping. ' What are the holes for ?' Ben asked. 'They're knot holes, ' said his dad. 'What are they, then, if they're not holes ?' asked Ben.
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Funny Kids Joke
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?Very big worm holes in your garden!
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Blind Joke
Where do blind sparrows go for treatment ? The Birds Eye counter !
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Animal Joke
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an 'after-hours' appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, 'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!'Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts. As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, 'You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!'To which the bird replied, 'Killer, get him!!!'
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Weirdest Joke
Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile. Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch. In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for!?'Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels. '
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Law Enforcement Joke
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
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Christmas Joke - 2
Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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