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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly gifts uk and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Is uranus a black hole?
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
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Spoof Joke
'My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled: 'Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong. '' - Unknown
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Naughty Joke
Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. He asked his friend if he had anything that would keep him hard all night long. The man laughed and handed him a bottle of pills instructing him not to take more than one. Once at home, Charlie figured with three women he should take three pills, so he gulped them down. The next day Charlie showed up at the drugstore to see his friend. Asking for some liniment, he showed him his dick which was ripped to shreds. In disbelief, his friend asked if he was sure that he wanted to put liniment on his dick. Charlie replied 'No, I need it for my arms the women never showed up!'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Have a nice day. . . somewhere else.
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Bumper Stickers - 2
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
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Fun Funny Joke
60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one) 50 Miami residents turn on the heat 40 You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming 35 Italian cars don't start 32 Water freezes 30 You plan your vacation to Australia 25 Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming 20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further South 15 French cars don't start, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you 10 You need jumper cables to get the car going 5 American cars don't start 0 Alaskans put on T-shirts -10 German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink -15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist -20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start -25 Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get the driver going -30 You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't start -40 Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, Your car helps you plan your trip South -50 Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window -80 Hell freezes over, Polar bears move South -90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets
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Firefighter Joke
Q. What kind of ears do pumpers have? A. Engineers.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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