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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly gifts for men and other funny jokes |
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Gender Joke
Man says to God: 'Why did you make woman so beautiful?'God says: 'So you would love her. ' Man says to God: 'But God, Why did you make her so dumb?'God says:'So she would love you. ' Source MissJoke. com
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Animal World
It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on w/one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest w/the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the sheer dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. He tells her to pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and flirt w/the ape. She does and the gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall; she does, and the gorilla is so excited, he's just about to tear the bars down. The husband then suggests that the wife lift her dress up above the thighs. . . this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy. Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in w/the gorilla and says, 'Now, tell him you have a headache. '
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Practical Joke
Top10 Reasons E-Mail is Like a Penis:10. Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off. 9. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior. 8. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it. 7. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call 'E-mail Envy. '6. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done. 5. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun. 4. If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses. 3. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant. 2. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble. And the number one reason 'Why e-mail is like a penis. '1. If you play with it too much, you'll go blind!
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Internet Joke
Have you seen www. indecisive. com? Yes and no.
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Romance Joke
The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determinedto track down the father to extract revenge. 'Was it my friend Sam', he demanded. 'No !' his weeping wife replied. 'Was it my friend Jim then?' he asked. 'NO !!!' she said even more upset. 'Well which one of my no good friends did this then?' he asked. 'Don't you think I have any friends of my own?' she snapped.
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Music Joke
Q: What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone? A: A Rolling Stone says 'hey you, get off of my cloud!', while a Scotsman says 'Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!'
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Godzilla Barbie . . . six foot tall lizard with Barbie head
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Irish Joke
'And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh?' the priest asked at confession. 'I might as well confess to the whole stack, your Reverence, ' said Kavanaugh. 'I'm goin' after the rest of it tonight!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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