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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly gift ideas and other funny jokes |
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Old age Joke
How can you tell an old person from a young person? An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled. 'Why so glum, Chum?' asked the kindly stranger. 'If my parents get divorced. . . will they still be brother and sister?'
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Bar Joke - 2
There are two statues standing in the woods. They have been there standing on their pedastals for 500 years. A girl statue and a boy statue. Finally one day the Good Fairy came down. You have been here for five centuries, naked just looking at one another. Now, the Good Fairy said to the statues, you have five full seconds to jump down off your pedastals and run out there in the bushes and do whatever it is that you would like to do. The girl statue and the boy statue jumped down, ran into the bushes, came back out brushing the leaves out of their hair and jumped back upon their pedastals. The Good Fairy said, 'you used three seconds, you have two more seconds to finish what you were doing. 'The boy statue looked at the girl statue and said, 'this time you hold the pigeon and I'll poop on it's head!'
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Idiot and fool Joke
Did you hear about the Finn who spent a fortune building a storm cellar in case there was an earthquake.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
How do we know that the 'Toothbrush' was invented in West Virginia? - Had it been invented anywhere else it would have been called a 'Teethbrush'.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Squirrel. . . it's what's for dinner.
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Blind Joke
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an 'away game'. They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer. 'We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening for it. They're pretty good at it too. ' 'Very clever!' remarks the other patron. Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, 'Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from the bus?' 'Yes, ' says the teacher, stung by the way 'his' kids are being refered to, 'what about it? You got something against blind kids?' 'Nothing, ordinarily, ' says the guy, still scowling out the window, r\n'but you better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the hell out of my best milk cow!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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