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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly faces and other funny jokes |
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Comedy Joke
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what hisfuture holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: 'You are going to meet abeautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you. 'The frog is thrilled, 'This is great!'Will I meet her at a party?' he croaks. 'No, ' says the psychic, 'in biology class. '
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
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History Joke
When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight ? When they had lots of sleepless knights !
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I suffer from a sexually transmitted disease: Children
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Manic-Depressive Barbie . . . with a set of Oriental throwing knives
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Brother and sister Joke
Teacher: What's this a picture of ? Class: Don't know, Miss. Teacher: It's a kangaroo. Class: What's a kangaroo, miss ? Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of Australia. Smallest boy: Wow, my sister's married one of them
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Funny College Joke
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway. You were born somewhere else. You know how to eat an artichoke. The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic. Your car has bulletproof windows. Left is right and right is wrong. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income. Your mouse has only one ball. You need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up. You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by. You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it. You drive to your neighborhood block party. Your family tree contains 'significant others'. Your cat has it's own psychiatrist. You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them. You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance. More than clothes come out of the closets. When 'the Dead' are best live. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse. More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers. Smoking in your office is not optional. When you can't schedule a meeting because you must 'do lunch'. Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks. Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news. You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman. You consult your horoscope before planning your day. A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery. When all highways into the state say: 'no fruits'. All highways out of the state say: 'Go back'. You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
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Joke for Kids
If you can't go down on them, you're not a good partner. If you can go down on them, they are jeolous that someone taught you how. If they pay for dinner, you are using them. If you pay for dinner, you are trying to embarrass them. If you make less money than them, you have to do all of the housework. If you make more money than them, you are a ball-breaker and still have to do all of the housework. If they want sex, they won't let you sleep. If you want sex, they won't wake up. If you choose an article of clothing that they don't like, you don't care about their taste. If you ask them for help in choosing an article of clothing they do like, they tell you to dress however you want. If you are polite and friendly to their friends, they want to know why you are coming on to their friends. If you are distant and reserved to their friends, they want to know why you don't like their friends.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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