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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly dog pictures and other funny jokes |
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Spiked Humor
*** Signs that you 'just might' have a drinking problem. ***You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your job is interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?? I think not!Two hands and just one mouth . . . now THAT'S a drinking problem!The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. Every woman you see has an exact twin. You fall off the floor. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger -- forget dinner!The glass keeps missing your mouth. Bill Clinton starts to make sense. Mosquitoes catch a buzz* after biting you. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in. 'Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol. 'You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store. 'BeerTender! Get me another Bar!'
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Camping Joke
Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, 'That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting. '
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Government Humor
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?1 U. S. leader
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Stupid Blonde Joke
Q. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?A. It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
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Joke for Halloween
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive. For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, 'Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?''I sure did, ' responded the pessimist. 'Your dog can't swim!'
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Joke Online
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a curtain. Psychiatrist: Pull yourself together!
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Blonde Joke - 1
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball. A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball. A3: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke. A4: You don't eat your bowling ball.
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Burger Joke
Why do burgers laugh when you surround them with pickles? Who knows - maybe they're picklish!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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