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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly bull pool and other funny jokes |
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Political Joke
Why are Vampires Democrats? They want Gore in 2000.
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Vampire Joke
What is the American national day for vampires? Fangsgiving Day.
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Animal World
A boy and girl octopus out on a date walked down the street arm in arm in arm in arm. . .
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Christmas Joke - 1
With the number of airline disasters lately, the FAA now sends an inspector to the North Pole to check out Santa Claus's sleigh before allowing him to fly on Christmas eve. The inspector arrives and checks the reindeer and they look good, he checks the harness and it looks okay, he checks the sleigh and it is also okay. Then he says, 'Santa, lets take it up for a check ride and if everything looks good I'll certify you to fly. 'Santa hitches the reindeer up and taxis onto the runway and just as he's starting his takeoff roll he looks over and notices the inspector has a pump shotgun on his lap. 'Hey! Whats the shotgun for!?' Santa yells. The inspector says, 'Well, Santa, I'm really not supposed to tell you this, but there is going to be an engine failure on takeoff. '
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Priceless Joke
Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies! Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:Here's a little story of a man named John A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone It seems one night after gettin' with the wife She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife Pecker that is, Rodeoed, fillet foodWell, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side And Lorena's in the car taking willie for a ride She soon got tired of her purple headed friend And tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend Curve, that is Pricker shrubs, wheel hubsShe went to the cops and confessed to the attack And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed 'over there' To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air Found, that is By a fence, evidenceNow peter and John couldn't stay apart too long So a d***-doc said 'Hey, I can fix your d**g!' A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need Then the world held it's breath till they heard that John peed Whizzed, that is Stitched seam, straight streamWell he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short) They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tapeVideo, that is, Unexposed, case closed
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At Work Joke
Like a lot of young women these days, one of our secretaries had worked long and hard to put her boyfriend through college. After he graduated and passed his bar exam, I asked her if they planned to be married soon. She looked at me with a big smile and said, 'Oh no! Not right away. I want him to practice for at least six months first. '
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Animal World
Why don't oysters give to charity?Because they're shellfish.
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Funny Kids Joke
: How do you hire a teddy bear?A: Put him on stilts!Q: What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?A: A polo bear!Q: Why do polo bears like bald men?A: Because they have a great, white, bear place!Q: What do polo bears have for lunch?A: Ice burger!Q: What's a teddy bears favorite pasta?A: Tagliateddy!Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?A: They both have 'the' as their middle names!Q: Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?A: It lives on ice!Q: Why shouldn't you take a bear to the zoo?A: Because they'd rather go to the cinema!Q: What is a bear's favorite drink?A: Koka-Koala!Q: Why was the little bear so spoiled?A: Because its mother panda'd to its every whim!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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