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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silly birthday presents and other funny jokes |
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Situations Humor
'Hey, Pal', the irate druggist shouted, 'Put that cigar outwhile you are in my store!''I bought this cigar here!' claimed the Customer. 'Big Deal!', said the Druggist. 'We sell condoms too. '
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Sport Joke
Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood. . . . good thing he didn't say two!
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Kids Joke
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the thestranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, 'Let's talk. I've heardthat flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with yourfellow passenger. 'Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and saidto the stranger 'What would you like to discuss?''Oh, I don't know, ' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?''OK, ' said Little Johnny. 'That could be an interesting topic. But letme ask you a question first. 'A horse, a cow, and a deer all eatgrass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cowturns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Whydo you suppose that is?''Jeez, ' said the stranger. 'I have no idea. ''Well, then, ' said Little Johnny, 'How is it that you feel qualified todiscuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?'
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Joke for Speeches
Showing his friend around his his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage. 'The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth. ' 'Well, ' his friend replies, 'since you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, you'll never be able to sell!' 'And that's where you're wrong, ' the man smiled. 'If I sell it, my wife would kill me!'
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Bible Joke
Camel Died A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the dessert. After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither one of them will survive the rest of the journey. The priest asks the nun 'I have never seen a woman's breasts, and at this point it probably wouldn't matter much, so could I see yours?' The nun agrees and shows him her breasts. 'May I touch them?' The nun allows him to. The priest comments sincerely how wonderful they are. The nun then asks 'Father, I have never seen a man's penis before, could you show me yours? The priest drops his drawers. 'May I touch it?' After she fondles his penis for a minute he sports a huge erection. The priest says, 'you know if I place my penis in the proper place it can give life!' 'Is that right' the nun replies? 'Yes, ' says the priest. So the nun said: 'Then why don't you stick it up that camels ass and lets get the hell out of here!'
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Dance Joke
Q. How many line dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Five!. . . Six!. . . Seven!. . . Eight!
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Village Idiot Joke
What was the last thing they gave to Elmo before he left the factory?2 testtickles!
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Bible Joke
At the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked, 'What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?' After a long silence, one of the men in attendance raised his hand and said: 'Sin?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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