|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of silly barts wrexham and other funny jokes |
|
Kids Puns
These three scientists decided to go fishing one day. So they packed up all of their gear and headed down to the lake. They were having terrible luck, they weren't catching a thing. But all the sudden, one of the scientists feels a pull at his line. He shouts out, 'I got something, I got something!'So he reels his catch in and much to his surprise, it's a Mermaid. She tells the scientists, 'If you let me go, I will grant you each one wish. ' Well they think that's a pretty good deal, so they agree. The first scientist, the one who caught the Mermaid, tells her, 'I want you to double my IQ. ' The Mermaid says, no problem. Snaps her fingers, and suddenly he's solving all of these problems they had been working on for months. So the next scientist thinks that's pretty neat, so he tells the Mermaid, 'I want you to tripple my IQ. ' So the Mermaid says, 'No problem. ' snaps her fingers once again, and now this scientist is finding cures for AIDS and Cancer. So the last scientist is really excited about all of this. He tells the Mermaid, 'I want you to quadruple my IQ. 'The Mermaid looks at him and says, 'Are you sure about this? I'm not so sure you want to do that. ' But the scientist is stubborn and tells her, 'You granted the other guys wishes, now grant mine or we're not letting you go. 'So the Mermaid sighs and says, 'Whatever you want. 'She snaps her fingers and the scientist turned into a woman.
= = = = = = = = = =
Monster Joke
Did you hear about the monster who went to a holiday camp? He won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and he wasn't even entered.
= = = = = = = = = =
Vampire Joke
Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose? He was a ghoulsnif fer.
= = = = = = = = = =
Great Joke
Little Johnny wakes up and comes down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. 'Not yet, ' replied little Johnny. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, now he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. 'How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?' he asks. 'Well, ' his mother says, 'I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning. 'Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen. Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says. . . 'Are you going to tell him, or should I?
= = = = = = = = = =
Spoof Joke
A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, 'Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you. ' The husband was thinking to himself, 'Oh no, what has he done now?' and asked with some trepidation, 'Well, bro, what did you name them?' Whereupon, his brother replied, 'I named the little girl Denise. ' The husband, relieved, said, 'That's a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?' The brother winked and replied, 'Denephew. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Situations Humor
A woman selling apples in New York is puzzled by a man who alwayscomes by, pays a quarter, but never picks up an apple. This goes on forsome time until, one day, the woman runs after the man as he walks away. 'I know why you are chasing after me. . . you want to know why I alwayspay a quarter but never take an apple, ' the man says. The woman replies: 'No, I wanted to tell you that the price has just gone up'.
= = = = = = = = = =
Dog Joke - 2
What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian?
A spot-weiler!
= = = = = = = = = =
Legal Humor
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?Your Honor.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
