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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of silliest jokes and other funny jokes |
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Funny School Kids Joke
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A wooly jumper.
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Dirty Joke
Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.
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American Joke
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field. 'We advise that outdoorsmen should wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them,' a spokesman said. 'We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear'.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear paw prints and scat.
A grizzly's paw is larger and its claws are longer than that of a black bear. Black bear scat contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear scat has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
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Letter Joke
Where do you put letters to boys? In a mail (male) box.
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Love and Marriage Joke
When the groom asks the best man for the ring, he turns and nervously says he doesn't have it, who then turns to the next groomsman and asks the same question, and so on until the last person turns and grabs a giant box of Cracker Jacks that contained the wedding ring. The whole church was rolling as the best man and his co-horts had the last laugh. It was truely classic.
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Kids Puns
A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae WestGive a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. - Mae WestI like two kinds of men: domestic and imported. - Mae WestIt's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men. - Mae WestMen become old, but they never become good. - Oscar WildeA bachelor is a cagey guy and has a load of fun; he sizes all the cuties up and never Mrs. One. Adam was created first to give him a chance to say something. Before money was invented, what did women find attractive about men?Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women. Boys will be boys, but men are better at it. Men are like toilets. Either vacant, engaged, or full of crap. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. Men. . . give them an inch. . . and they add it to their own. I called my last boyfriend 'Miller Lite'; tasted good, but wasn't very filling. If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament. If only women came with pull-down menus and online help. If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they just put them all there. Men are like dog turds; the older they get, the easier they are to pick up. Men piss like cheap cameras; they just aim and shoot. Most men prefer looks to brains, because most men see better than they think. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. 90% of the men give the other 10% a bad name. Nowadays, the only place a single woman can find the best man is at a wedding. PMS is something that makes a woman act once a month like a man acts EVERY DAY. The guy who said all men are created equal never went to a nudist colony. Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
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Children Joke
How do you make a gay baby cry?Take the pacifier out of his ass.
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Christmas Joke - 1
On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PCOn the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin'7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin'8 megs overflowin'7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported9 apps a crashin'8 Megs overflowin'7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty10 modes not supported9 apps a crashin'8 Megs overflowin'7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations11 instructions faulty10 modes not supported9 apps a crashin'8 Megs overflowin'7 files missin'6 ints conflictin'5 eighty six4 sectors bad3 ports not responding2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PC
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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