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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of side splitting jokes and other funny jokes |
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Very Silly Joke
The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. 'We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation, ' she said, 'ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?' A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, 'Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?'
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Ethnic Humor
A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said 'Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness. 'The Italian said 'That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table. 'The Russian said 'That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid. ''That sounds to good to be true!' the Irishman exclaimed. 'Have you actually been there?''No, ' the Russian replied, 'but my wife goes there all the time. '
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Money Joke
Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box.
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Blonde Joke - 1
During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried. After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem. Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.
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Bumper Stickers - 4
Idiots surround me!
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life
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Joke Online
A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor. While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police. When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, 'This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important. ' Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any more, they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, 'We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important. ' The police said, 'It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important. ' 'Well, who was it?' 'The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and-Seek Champion. '
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Dumb People Joke
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl: What a Italian bullfighter tries to do. Baloney buh-lo'-nee: Where some hemlines fall. Bernadette burn'-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage. Burglarize bur'-gler-ize: What a crook sees with. Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. Eclipse e-klips': What an English barber does for a living. Eyedropper i'-drop-ur: A clumsy ophthalmologist. Heroes hee'-rhos: What a guy in a boat does. Left Bank left' bangk': What the robber did when his bag was full of loot. Misty mis'-tee: How golfers create divots. Paradox par'-uh-doks: Two physicians. Parasites par'-uh-sites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Pharmacist farm'-uh-sist: A helper on the farm. Polarize po'-lur-ize: What penguins see with.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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