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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of short txt jokes and other funny jokes |
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Cannibal Joke
What did the cannibal say to the explorer? ''Nice to meat you''!
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Silliest Joke
Q What`s the difference between engagement and hemaroihds?A When the hemaroihds are over you at least get the ring back !!!!
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Food Joke
This weekend, I discovered a cooking tip I haven't seen listed in any cookbooks. While you are preparing the food, and after the guests have arrived, you contrive to fill the house up with smoke, preferably enough to get at least two smoke detectors going. Then you go rushing about the house, opening all the windows, setting up fans, and generally doing everything short of calling the fire department. Let the guests sit for about 1/2 hour at 50 degrees (as a result of opening the windows) and serve the food. By this point, you have established expectations in your guests' minds that you can't fail to exceed!
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Bar Joke - 1
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, 'Dang, why are you drinking so fast?' The guy says, 'You would be drinking fast if you had what I had. ' The bartender says, 'What do you have?' The guy says, '75 cents. '
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Father Joke
A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest:
As you shall make your bed so shall you. . . mess it up.
Better to be safe than. . . punch a 5th grader
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Baby Joke
When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn't he have an L-plate?
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Men Joke
Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? A: Women working at 900 numbers.
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Accountant Joke
The doctor comes to see his heart transplant patient. 'This is good news. It is very unusual, but we have two donors to choose from for your new heart. ' The patient is pleased. He asks, 'What were their jobs?' 'One was a teacher and the other was an accountant. ' 'I'll take the accountant's heart, ' says the patient. 'I want one that hasn't been used. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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