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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of short quick jokes and other funny jokes |
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Romance Joke
A man calls his wife and says to her, 'Honey, I just got the chance of alifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss. Could you packup my things so that they will be ready when I get home?' 'Sure, honey, ' hiswife answers. 'Oh, and could you please pack my blue silk pyjamas?' 'Sure, honey, ' his wife answers again. The man comes home, picks up his things andtakes off for the week. He returns a week later, smiling. His wife greetshim at thefront door. 'So honey, how was your fishing trip?''It was great. . . ' the husband answers. 'But you forgot to pack my bluesilk pyjamas. ' 'No I didn't, ' said his wife. 'They were in your tacklebox. '
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Stupid Men
What's the difference between a man and a cat?
One is a finicky eater who couldn't care less if you lived or died; the other is a house pet.
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Love and Marriage Joke
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick MartinI do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- TynanI think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis DillerI've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister?If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- ChekhovIf you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children. . . ' - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner
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Joke for Kids
Q. How many animals can you get into one pair of pantyhose? A. Several. Ten little piggies, two calves, many hares, one ass and a beaver!
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Weather Joke
What type of wind is named after a young deer? Foehn
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Animal World
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that 'Cheech' the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, 'Why are you reading both those books'?'Well, ' said the orang-utang, 'I just wanted to know if I was my brother'skeeper or my keeper's brother. '
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Telephone Joke
How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!
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Clinton Joke
What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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