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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of short one liner jokes and other funny jokes |
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Satire Joke
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. J. Paul Getty A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much. ' Lord Barnett Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. Rita Rudner If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. Dorothy Parker My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. Errol Flynn
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Government Humor
It is time to elect a world leader and your vote counts. Here's the scoop on the three leading candidates. Candidate A: associates with ward heelers and consultswith astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He chainsmokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B: was kicked out of office twice, sleepsuntil noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart ofbrandy every evening. Candidate C: is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't hadany illicit affairs. Which of these candidates is your choice??Candidate A is Franklin D. RooseveltCandidate B is Winston ChurchillCandidate C is Adolph HitlerSent by Marina
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American Joke
Two drunks went into a bar and had a few beers. One got up and went into the bathroom while the other remained at the bar talking to the bartender.
All of a sudden there was a loud scream coming from the bathroom. The drunk at the bar said to the bartender that it sounded like his partner screaming, so he went into the bathroom to investigate.
He went inside and asked his friend what the problem was. His friend said that everytime he flushed the toilet something reached up and squeezed his balls.
His friend shook his head and said, You dumbass, youre sitting on the mop bucket
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Funny College Joke
What did the blonde say when she saw the YMCA sign??LOOK!!! They spelled MACY's wrong!!!!
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Doctor Joke
Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow. Doctor: How do you feel?Patient: A little down in the mouth.
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Bumper Stickers - 4
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!
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Idiot and fool Joke
Personnel Director: What would you do if you broke your arm in two places? Vanderkron: I wouldn't go to these places no more!
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Cat Joke
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ? A carrot !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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