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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of short mobile jokes and other funny jokes |
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Romance Joke
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. Wedding cake!
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Rabbit Joke
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me? Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
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Joke for Halloween
The Origin of ChapstickThe old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the Cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff. 'Howdy, stranger. . . ''Howdy, Sheriff. . . 'The cowboy then moved slowly to then back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk, and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon. 'Hold on, Mister. . . ''Sheriff?''Did I just see what I think I just saw?''Reckon you did, Sheriff. . . I got me some powerful chapped lips. . . ''And that cures them?' 'Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' em!
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Cannibal Joke
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, 'To hell with your canoes!'
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Law Joke
Q: What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
A: Retired.
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Miscellaneous Joke
On a busy day, on a busy corner, there is a big accident in which there is a victim. The man who has been injured request for a priest. The police officer on the scene turns around and ask if there is a priest in the crowd. Nobody answers. The man still cryes out 'A priest, a priest please'. The officer once again turns around and ask if there is a priest in the crowd. Suddenly, an old jewish rabby comes up and say 'Officer, I'm a old 70 years old Rabbi, but I've lived for 20 years behind St. Patrick church. Every night I hear them in their prayers. Maybe I can help. 'So the officer bring the Rabbi to the dying man. The Rabbi kneels down and addresses these following words to the dying man:'B1-I18-N44-G56-O75'
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Funny Kids Joke
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?A mouse-tache!
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Pig Joke
How do you take a pig to hospital? By hambulance!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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