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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of short medical jokes and other funny jokes |
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Comedy Joke
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, 'Who owns the big white horse outside?'The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, 'I do. Why?'The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, 'I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!'The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, 'Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better. 'Tonto said, 'Sure Kemosabe', and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces, 'Who owns that big white horse outside?'The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, 'I do. What is wrong with him this time?'The cowboy says to him, 'Nothing much, I just wanted you to know -you left your Injun running. . . '
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Yesterday I knew nothing today I know that.
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Spoof Joke
Did you here about the pharmaceutical company?They developed a new drug that, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent and become a nun. The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.
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Spoof Joke
New Polish navy has glass bottom boats, to see to the old Polish navy.
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Frog Joke
What do you call a rich frog? A gold-blooded reptile.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Three guys are debating about which of their languages is the most pleasing to the ear. The Spaniard says, 'Consider the word for 'butterfly'. In Spanish, it is pronounced 'Mariposa
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Computer Joke
July 18: I just tried to connect to America online, which I've heard is the best online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what is wrong. July 19: Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am? July 20: I bought the modem, I couldn't figure out where it goes though, it wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused. July 21: I finally got the modem in and hooked up. A three year old next door did it for me. July 22: The three year old kid next door hooked me up to America online for me. He's so smart. July 23: What the heck is the internet? I thought I was on America Online, not this internet thingy. I'm confused. July 24: The three year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. He must be a genius at least compared to me. July 25: I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. Maybe I need to buy a microphone. July 26: I found this thingy called Usenet. I got out of it because I'm connected to America Online, not Usenet. I went to the doctor today for my regular checkup. He says that since I connected, My brain has mysteriously shrunk to half its normal size. July 27: These people in this Usenet thingy keep using capital letters. How do they do that? i never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard. July 28: I found this thingy called the Usenet oracle. It says that it can answer any questions I ask it. I asked it 44 separate questions about the internet. I hope it responds soon. July 29: I found a group called rec. humor. I decided to post this joke about why the chicken crossed the road. To get to the other side! ha ha! I wasn't sure if i posted it right so I posted it 56 more times. July 30: I keep hearing about the World Wide Web. I didn't know spiders grew that large. July 31: The oracle responded to my questions today. Geez, it was rude. I was so angry that I posted an angry message about it to rec. humor. oracle. d. I wasn't sure if it posted right so I posted it 22 more times. August 1: Someone told me to read the FAQ. Geez, they didn't have to use profanity. August 2: I just read this post called make money fast. I'm so exited, I'm going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every newsgroup i could find. August 3: I just made my signature file. It's only 6 pages long, So I will have to work on it some more. August 4: I just looked at a group called alt. aol. sucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that aol should be wiped off the face of the Earth. I wonder what an 'aol' is, however. August 5: I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out ftp. netcom. com. I've looked and looked, but I cant find that group. August 6: Some guy suspended my account because of what i was doing. I told him I don't have an account at his bank. He's so dumb.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Lets get along with me.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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