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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of short funny jokes one liners and other funny jokes |
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School Joke for Kids
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, 'Lord, I have a problem!''What's the problem, Eve?''Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy. ''Why is that, Eve?' came the reply from above. 'Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples. ''Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you. ' 'What's a 'man
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Clinton Joke
Q: Did you hear that the Clinton's had Air Force 1 remodeled? A: Now it's got two left wings.
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Firefighter Joke
What did the fireman say when the church caught on fire? 'Holy smoke!'
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Animal Joke
Why did the raccoon cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a car.
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Old age Joke
An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. 'I've never been better!' he replies. 'I've got an 18-year-old bride Who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?' The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, 'Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy Who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. ' 'So he's in the woods, ' the doctor continues, 'and suddenly a grizzly bear appears in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the bear, and squeezes the handle. The bear drops dead in front of him, suffering from a bullet wound in his its chest. ' 'That's impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear, ' the man said. 'Exactly. '
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
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Weird Women Joke
The boy asks his dad:'What's the difference between a 'cunt' and a 'pussy'?'The dad gets a Penthouse magazine, draws a circle around acrotch and says: 'Everything inside the circle is a 'pussy
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Science Joke
Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has a whitewick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold apencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn blackbecause it got in the path of the dark flowing into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle allof the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. Whenthe dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced beforethe portable dark sucker can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from thismass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating darksucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in thesolid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount ofheat. Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle. Dark isalso heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it getsslowly darker and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fiftyfeet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks tothe bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top. Theimmense power of dark can be utilized to mans advantage. We can collectthe dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it throughturbines, which generate electricity and help push it to the ocean where itmay be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to getdark from the rivers and lakes to the ocean. The Indians recognized thisproblem, and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe travelling inthe same direction as the flow of the dark, they paddled slowly, so as notto stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its way. Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were tostand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowlyopen the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, butsince the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave thecloset. In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our livesmuch easier. So the next time you look at an electric bulb remember thatit is indeed a dark sucker. Author Unknown
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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