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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of short football jokes and other funny jokes |
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Politics Humor
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit afortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. 'There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepareyourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent andhorrible death this year. 'Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then atthe single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took afew deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. Shemet the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked herquestion:'Will I be acquitted?'
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Joke for Holidays
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a muttering word of protest, the old man gets up from his seat and quietly leaves the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, 'Humph, not much of a man, was he!'And the waitress replied, 'Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles!'
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Accountant Joke
The auditors have just left, sir. 'Did they check the books?' 'Very thoroughly. ' 'What did they say?' 'They want 15% to keep quiet. '
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Women Joke
10 things men know about women:-------------------------------1:2:3:4:5:6:7:8:9:10: They have tits
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Travel and tourist Joke
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: 'Look, it's not the same hat' 'Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table' 'Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?' The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: 'OK, I give up. Where's the boat?'
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Teenage Pregnancy Barbie . . . complete with dropout forms. Angry parents and deadbeat boyfriend sold separately
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Spelling Joke
How do you spell wrong? R?o?n?g. That's wrong. That's what you asked for, isn't it?
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Computer Joke
You have just received the 'Alabama Virus'. As we ain't got no programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.
Thanks for your cooperation. . . University of Alabama Computer Engineering Department
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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