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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of short fat jokes and other funny jokes |
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Cow Joke
What do you get from a forgetful cow? Milk of amnesia!
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Spoof Joke
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her 'go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?' The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, 'I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!' The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says, 'Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?' The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, 'That's easy! It's M!'
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Political Joke
Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President? A: A competent liberal President.
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Bird Joke
What birds are found in Portugal ? Portu-geese !
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Math Joke
'So how's your boyfriend doing, the math student?'
'Don't mention that crazy pervert to me anymore! We broke up. '
'How can you say such a nasty thing about him? He seemed to be such a nice boy. '
'Imagine! He was restless during the days and couldn't sleep at night - always trying to solve his math problems. When he had finally done it, he wasn't happy: he would call himself a complete idiot and throw all his notes into the garbage. One day, I couldn't take it anymore, and I told him to drop math. You know what he told me?'
'No. '
'He said, he enjoyed it!!!'
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American Joke
Three Americans were up against a very large Russian in a wrestling meet. They were nervous because he had a famous move called 'The Russian Pretzel,' which often landed his opponents in the hospital.
When the first American caught a glimpse of him, he said, 'Coach, he's HUGE. I'm scared. '
The coach replied, 'You da MAN! Just go in there and tear him up!'
The guy started the match quite confidently, but after about a minute, the Russian picked him up, slammed him into the famous pretzel, and sent him to the emergency room.
The same thing happened to the second wrestler, so the third guy was petrified. He told his coach he was backing out.
The coach said, 'C'mon, son. You're our last chance!'
The kid started out pretty well, but when the Russian started to twist him into the pretzel, the coach covered his eyes. When he opened them, he saw the referee holding the American's hand up in victory. The coach, baffled, asked the kid how he did it.
'Well Coach, when that damn Russian picked me up and started twisting my body, it HURT! So when I saw two red things dangling there, I bit them. . . HARD! You'd be surprised what you can do when you bite your own balls!'
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Law Joke
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to change the bulb and five to write the environmental impact statement.
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Animal World
Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other:'Do you know how to drive this thing?'Sent by Claire
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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