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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of shocking jokes and other funny jokes |
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Worlds Best Joke
On the first evening of their honeymoon, they are sitting on the balcony of the hotel while the sun is setting. 'Honey, ' she says, 'now that we're married, will you tell me what a penis is?'He almost fell off the chair when he heard her ask. So, being her husband, he led her into their room and took his pants off. '*This*, my love, is a penis. ' he told her. 'Oh!' she exclaimed. 'It looks like a dick, but only much smaller!'
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Stupid Men
Why are beer cans so easy to open?
Look who's drinking them.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers
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Computing Joke
1. BREAKFAST. COM Halted. . . Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 7. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)8. Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups. 9. E Pluribus Modem10. . . . . File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)11. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny12. CONGRESS. SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D. C (Y/N)?13. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium. 14. Windows: Just another pane in the glass. 15. SENILE. COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . 16. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure. 17. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. . . 18. COFFEE. EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key19. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!20. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage. 21. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. 22. '640K ought to be enough for anybody. ' - Bill Gates, 198123. Press any key. . . no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!24. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. . . 25. REALITY. SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)26. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)27. Hit any user to continue. 28. Disk Full - Press F1 to belch. 29. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic30. (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
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Law Joke
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
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Waiter Joke
CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler? WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.
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Dumb People Joke
There was this old guy wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals -'Crisco? Crisco? CRIS--CO!!!!'Finally a store clerk approached. 'Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five. ''Oh, ' replied the old guy, 'I'm not looking for Crisco, I'm calling my wife. ''Your wife is named 'Crisco?''Nah, ' he answered, 'I only call her that when we come to the supermarket. ''Oh? What do you call her when you are not in the supermarket?''Lard Ass!'
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Bar Joke - 1
Please try the following:
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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