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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of shadow and sonic x fun games on fun websites and other funny jokes |
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Bus Joke
When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs? I prefer to ride on top, but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.
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Dog Joke - 1
What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road? Look out for the mice!
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Priceless Joke
A Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed one night. The chicken smoking a cigarette with a smug grin on its face, the egg looking thoroughly ticked off. The egg looks at the chicken and says, 'Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!'
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Computer Joke
Webster's Dictionary definition of Windows 95 Windows95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
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Humor Joke
Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the Rod). When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was put to him. 'So what's the story with you and this here gun of yours, eh? Like, are you scared or somethin' or you just want to always be ready or what?' 'Not scared . . . ' Benny growled, 'been doin' it dis way ever since me sister-in-law's weddin' 'bout ten ten years ago now'. 'Oh yeah? . . . so . . . ?' 'Wel l, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good chisler. He never even loved the goil so much . . . but he made her happy and so I kept me mouth shut about it', Benny explained. Louie leaned in, expecting the point of the matter. 'And since dat time I gotta do it dis way'. 'But WHY?!', Louie finally demanded? 'Well, I was at da wedding', grumbled Benny, and I wasn't about to say nuttin' about it then, so now I gotta do like da preacher said . . . 'Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Piece!'
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Police Joke
A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands.
But it also lit up her arm, too!
Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off running down the street.
A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. All the officer could think of doing was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance.
When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, 'My only thought was to stop her. After all, she was waving a fire-arm. '
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Redneck Joke
You might be a redneck if you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
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Hair and bald Joke
My barber is a specialist in road map shaves. How come? When he's finished, your face is full of short cuts.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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