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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of seriously silly stories and other funny jokes |
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie, who?
Howie gonna get rid of all these Easter Bunnies?
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Bird Joke
What do you get from a drunk chicken ? Scotch eggs !
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Naughty Joke
'That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker, ' the housewife told a neighbor. 'You didn't do it, did you?''I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!'
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Beauty Joke
Who won the Monster Beauty Contest? No one.
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College Humor
Why Beer is Better than Women1. YOU CAN ENJOY A BEER ALL MONTH LONG. 2. BEER STAINS WASH OUT. 3. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WINE AND DINE BEER. 4. YOUR BEER WILL ALWAYS WAIT PATIENTLY FOR YOU IN THE CAR WHILE YOU PLAY FOOTBALL. 5. WHEN YOUR BEER GOES FLAT, YOU TOSS IT OUT. 6. BEER IS NEVER LATE. 7. A BEER DOESN'T GET JEALOUS WHEN YOU GRAB ANOTHER BEER. 8. HANGOVERS GO AWAY. 9. BEER LABELS COME OFF WITHOUT A FIGHT. 10. WHEN YOU GO TO A BAR, YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS PICK UP A BEER. 11. BEER NEVER HAS A HEADACHE. 12. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DRIVE A BEER HOME IN THE MORNING. 13. A BEER WON'T GET UPSET IF YOU COME HOME WITH ANOTHER BEER. 14. IF YOU POUR A BEER RIGHT, YOU'LL ALWAYS GET GOOD HEAD. 15. A BEER ALWAYS GOES DOWN EASY. 16. YOU CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE BEER IN A NIGHT AND NOT FEEL GUILTY. 17. YOU CAN SHARE A BEER WITH YOUR FRIENDS. 18. YOU ALWAYS KNOW YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE TO POP A BEER. 19. BEER IS ALWAYS WET. 20. BEER DOESN'T DEMAND EQUALITY. 21. YOU CAN HAVE A BEER IN PUBLIC. 22. A BEER DOESN'T CARE WHEN YOU COME. 23. A FRIGID BEER IS A GOOD BEER. 24. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WASH A BEER BEFORE IT TASTES GOOD. 25. IF YOU CHANGE BEERS YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ALIMONY.
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Funniest Joke
Who are the five most constipated men in the Old Testament?1) Cain wasn't Abel. 2) Moses went up onto the mountain and took two tablets. 3) King David sat on the throne for forty years. 4) Solomon - neither heaven nor Earth could move him. 5) Noah was at sea for forty days and forty nights and all he passed was water.
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Best Joke
Mrs. Riley, you say you divorced your husband 6 years ago, but you have a newborn infant and children '1
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Religious Joke
Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. 'Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read???' Goldblum shuddered. God went on. 'I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word is strong!' Goldblum sighed with relief. 'Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?' Bauman hung his head in shame. 'Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my peo ple, but I can accept these indiscretions. ' Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, 'You, Rabinowitz, have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying. . . . 'Closed for the Holiday !!!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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